Remember That Day
by Kimiz
Summary: …We were stuck in the bathroom because our friends decided to make out in our living room? "Who broke into our apartment?" "Naruto! With a girl!" "He's cheating on Hinata?" "It WAS Hinata, Temari! Where do we keep the bleacher? I need to unsee this…" ShikaTema NaruHina


A/N: Hello there! I'm here with another How I Met Your Mother inspired oneshot. I had watched that episode where Lily and Marshall are stuck in the bathroom while Ted's with Victoria in the living room. It's just inspired by that, because it turned out very different, but I like it. It's funny, well, I think so anyway xD Pardon the slight non-sense. Hope you laugh!

Summary: …We were stuck in the bathroom because our friends decided to make out in our living room? "Who broke into our house?" "Naruto! With a girl!" "He's cheating on Hinata?" "It WAS Hinata, Temari! Where do we keep the bleacher? I need to unsee this…" ShikaTema NaruHina

**Remember That Day**

It all began on a Friday night, when the couple hung around their apartment after dinner. They were supposed to leave for Suna that afternoon, but had been held back by obscure reasons. Now, while the lady had been quite disappointed, the gentleman rejoiced so profoundly he nearly punched the wall. Behind her back, of course. Though the prospect of resuming their journey was still looming on the horizon, he couldn't help but say a prayer of thanks for the extra time. See, that situation had been dragging itself by for quite some time. Having two brothers who she loved dearly and a long term boyfriend who was very important to her, Temari felt that both parties should get along. Said parties were more than content to ignore each other's existence for the rest of their lives, but hell, who says no to Temari?

"Hey, I got a letter from Gaara." she said, holding it up for Shikamaru to see.

"Yeah?" he asked uninterestedly, flipping through some last minute paperwork he should have done the previous morning.

"Yeah. He says there's a sandstorm coming up. We should stay here for another day or two before leaving or we'll walk right into it." Shikamaru dropped the papers in relief.

"Oh, thank God!" she raised an eyebrow. He gulped. "I mean, damn!" he corrected, hoping to dodge the punch that was coming his way. She rolled her eyes at him.

"When are you going to stop thinking my brothers are going to kill you?"

"Oh, I know they won't kill me. It doesn't make three days staring at their faces trying to pretend I'm not sleeping with their sister any less awkward."

"Don't be such a drama queen. We're all grown up people and if we can't handle something as stupid as each other's sex lives, then maybe we're not that mature after all."

"I'm fine with it." He declared, shrugging. She huffed.

"Don't be such a pussy."

"Hey, how would you like to spend a weekend with one of Kankuro's girlfriends?"

"I have before! It wasn't that bad!" he lifted an eyebrow.

"Kankuro brought a girl home?"

"Yeah!"

"Really. Meet the family kind of bring-home." He said skeptically. She held her chin up.

"Yeah." He stared at her. She dropped her arms. "Alright, fine, he slept with the girl then got called away for a mission early and I had to wake her up. And… Cook her breakfast. And comfort her as she burst into tears after I broke up with her for him."

"Wow! You're right! That doesn't seem awkward at all!" he said sarcastically.

"Oh, shut it. I'm gonna go take a shower." She walked down the hallway into the bathroom while he smirked in triumph. "Seriously, it wasn't that bad! We're actually pretty good friends now!"

"Which means you panic like a little girl and run like the devil from the cross whenever you see her heading your way on the streets to avoid awkward small talk." He provided, going back to his papers.

"How the hell did you get to know me so well, you asshole?" she yelled from there, making him smile.

"Lots of love and one hell of a patience."

"It was a rethorical question… SHIT!" he jumped, startled at her cry.

"Tem? You alright?" he called out worriedly.

"Yeah, sure! Your shower, though, is seriously fucked up!" he slapped his forehead. "You didn't fix it? You said you'd do it today!" she whined.

"I know, sorry. I had so much to do, I forgot…"

He went over to take a look at it. She hadn't ripped it off the wall yet, or beaten the thing to death with her fan, which was a lot more than what he had expected. That was good news. It would be easier to fix it if it was in one piece. It had been slightly dysfunctional for a while. He'd have to buy a new one. If he was lucky he'd just have to change a piece, he had some stuff in his toolbox. That thing was like a portal to the dimension of forgotten scrap metals, he may find it and actually get away from buying a new one.

"I took a shock in it."

"It does that sometimes. Are you really needing a shower right now? I can try to fix it."

"Fine… I'll wait."

"Alright. Let me get the toolbox."

He went to grab it and soon came back with it, ready to fix the shower. When he re-entered the bathroom, he noticed something he hadn't noticed before. Temari was wrapped in a towel. As in, naked under that towel. Suddenly his train of thought lurched to a whole new direction. He slapped himself to get back on track.

"Alright. Here I am." She laughed.

"I'm wrapped in a towel and you're here with a toolbox to fix the shower. Damn, it's like some bad porno."

"Shut up. I'm actually here to fix the shower."

"That's what they all say." He glared at her. "With your shirt off?" she teased.

"Seriously, Tem."

"And will you turn the shower on and get all wet?"

"Tem!"

"Alright, alright! I'll stop." She sat on top of the sink and watched as he started fixing the damn thing.

It took him a while to get it, but he managed. He did live with an incredibly neurotic mother who made him fix everything when his father wasn't around and he did live alone now, he picked up some skills along the way. He was getting out of the shower stall when they heard the front door opening. They looked at each other. They never left the house unlocked. Who could it be? Enemies? They wouldn't enter through the front door! But still... Shikamaru grabbed a kunai from his pouch. Seconds later he was startled by a hand near his butt. He jumped to see it was just Temari borrowing a kunai. He looked at her pointedly.

"What?" she whispered. "I'm naked, where'd you think I'd hide a weapon?" he opened his mouth. "That was rethorical too!"

"Shhh!" he slowly started to leave the bathroom. She stayed where she was. He turned to her sending a significant look.

"I'm _naked_!" she whisper-yelled. "I don't want to fight naked!"

"Then why'd you get a kunai?"

"In case I had to, but that wouldn't be necessary if my boyfriend wasn't such a pussy and went there to check it like a man!" she whacked him upside the head.

"Alright!" he whispered, opening the door slowly, praying it wouldn't creak. He jumped out, tiptoeing, silent as a cat, supressing his chakra, weapon at the ready…

Only to run back like the devil was on his heels and lock the bathroom door through inside.

"What are you doing?" Temari hissed. He leaned against the door, breathing heavily.

"Oh, God…"

"What about the dudes that broke into the apartment?"

"You want to know who broke into the apartment? I'll tell you who broke into the apartment. Naruto! With a girl!"

"Oh, my God!" she opened her mouth in shock. "He's cheating on Hinata?"

"It WAS Hinata, Temari!" she gasped.

"No way!"

"Oh, God… My eyes." He rubbed them with the pads of his hands. "I just saw Naruto and Hinata making out! Where do we keep the bleacher? I need to unsee this…"

"Sorry, love, bleacher's on the laundry room. Try toothpaste. Oh! Here! Exfoliating cream! Rub it on your brain." She offered him a tube of pickle green cream. He half glared at her. She smiled.

"Oh, no, we are not laughing about this! This is not funny! This is sad, tragic, troublesome and… Alright, it's a little funny."

"Did they take their clothes off?" she asked him, snickering.

"No, thank God, they were dressed. But I think I saw her hand under his shirt!"

"What do you know, it IS always the quiet ones." She mocked. He laughed in spite of himself. "What are they doing here? I mean, did they seriously invade our house to make out? We can sue them for that, right?" realization spread across his face. He slapped his forehead.

"Oh, shit! I remember now! I lent Naruto the apartment since we were going to be out of town."

"You did what?"

"Oh, he came crying to me because he'd take Hinata out and his apartment is shit or something like that. He was really spazzing too, more than normal, saying it would be an IMPORTANT night." He held his face in mortification. "Temari… I think they're gonna get laid!"

"Someone's getting some!" she nudged him teasingly.

"On our couch!"

"Sorry, couldn't resist it. God, what are we going to do? We have to get out of here!"

"No! They might see us! Especially if they do use the guest bedroom."

"Well, ew. Hey, they'd better not use OUR bedroom, Nara, or I'm burning the whole thing down!"

"We could jump out the window." He suggested.

"What part of _'I'm naked'_ didn't you understand, Shikamaru?" she hit him.

"Sorry! My brain isn't programmed for this kind of situation. Damn, what are we going to do?" she sighed, jumping on the sink counter again.

"I guess all we can do is sit and wait, we can't interrupt them now. I mean, they've been together how long? A year? And tonight's a BIG night? You know what that means, right? Dude, that kid's been waiting a year to get laid, I'd feel like a bitch for breaking it up."

"Yeah…"

"Like… An adult chaperone, for example. A responsible authority figure." She shuddered. He smiled.

"Who was blabbing about grown up mature people a while ago, Tem?"

"Shut up."

"Hell, I can't believe I'm saying this, but it would have been better to be staring at your brothers's faces, trying to pretend I'm not sleeping with their sister than being stuck in a bathroom for uncertain amount of time while my friend gets it on with his girlfriend on my couch."

"We need a new couch." She said in realization. "But I'm glad you're getting over your thing with my brothers."

"It's not a thing, it's a mutual agreement to ignore each other's presence. It's the number one rule to a peaceful co-existence." She rolled her eyes.

"When all of you get your heads out of your asses, you'll be pretty good friends."

"We are pretty good friends. Just like you and Kankuro's girlfriends."

"Damn it!"

Suddenly their hushed voices were joined by other two. They stopped still, looking at each other for a second before jumping to the door, tripping over their own feet. They opened the door slightly, listening in on the new couple, now exchanging sweet nothings. They openly frowned in disgust.

"Are you listening to this?" she asked him.

"I'm trying to, but my ears are blocking it for self-protection." Temari chuckled. In the living room, Naruto and Hinata had decided to quit the making out and have a heart to heart.

"Hina-chan…" he said in an adoration filled voice. "How could I have missed this? How could I have not noticed you?"

"Oh, Naruto-kun, I could have said something sooner…"

"No, it was my fault… I guess I was just so blind…"

"Gro-oss!" Temari sing sang in the bathroom. Shikamaru shushed her, though he agreed whole-heartedly.

"They're going to listen and then they'll think we're spying on them like some sort of creeps."

"Oh, yeah, that would be terrible." They went back to looking through the crack of the door and listening in on their conversation. "He just complimented her hair, how gay is that?"

"Hinata… Have I ever told you that… Your eyes sparkle?"

"Pfff!" Shikamaru and Temari closed the door quickly, trying to stop their laughter before they were heard. They could still heear his muffled voice though.

"They're really like… The moon. Pale and beautiful." They covered their mouths, holding their bellies, their ribs hurting from holding back the laughter. How cheesy could they be? "What are you thinking about?"

"Oh, Naruto-kun… This… This is the moment I've been dreaming of ever since I was a little girl. It feels like a dream."

"But it's better."

"How so?"

"It's real."

"Aaand, they're back to making out, thank God." She frowned. "That came out strange. Can you believe these two?"

"Temari…" he said in a fake deep voice. "Have I ever told you that your eyes… Sparkle?" he finished breathlessly. She covered her mouth to keep from laughing. "That's so sappy. Are all the other couples this gross?"

"They've just gotten started, rainbows and roses phase, and now that they've had sex? Won't manage to keep their hands off of each other. It's how it always starts."

"We were never this disgusting, right?"

"Good Heavens, no. We were just horny all the time."

"Yeah… Good times." He said solemnly. She laughed.

"Remember that time we fought and broke the whole kitchen and then made up on top of the ruins of the table?"

"I do… That was a wild night."

"We were a wild couple…" she looked at him. "What happened?"

"We got our brains out of our crotches."

"Such a pity. Are they moving out of the couch yet?" he took a peek.

"No, they're just… Staring into each other's eyes, yuck."

"Hell, how long does it take a person to get laid? We don't take that long to get it on."

"It's the first time, they want to take it slow."

"How much slower can it be? I've seen turtles fuck each other faster!" she stopped. "Well, not actually, I've never seen a turtle fuck, much less how fast it is, but it does get me thinking. How do they do it? I mean, where's the pen…"

"Enough, Tem. My mind's been fucked enough for one night." She stood up and walked to the door.

"Right. Jesus, look at them making googly eyes at each other. Lift the toilet's lid, I'm gonna throw up." She closed the door again and leaned against it. "I'm tired, 'Maru." She whined. "I'm stuck in my own bathroom, wrapped in a towel, I'm getting _cold_, I want my clothes!"

"Where are they, by the way?"

"I left them in the bedroom."

"You walked to the bathroom naked?"

"I didn't want to get my clothes wet." She turned to look at him. He was staring at her with an intense look she knew too well. "Seriously, Shikamaru? You're gonna get horny now?"

"Sorry." He said quickly. "It would help if you had clothes on."

"Oh, shut up!" she shook her head. "Too weird." Then added. "Maybe later. Oh, gawd. She's got her tongue down his throat! Shy little Hinata! Who would've known! Wow! That IS her hand under his shirt!" she closed the door quickly. "Ew. I'm not into this kind of thing."

"Sex?" he said confusedly.

"Oh, no, I love sex. I meant voyeurism. I'm not into that." He laughed. She grinned at him. "You were ready to break up, right?"

"I was ready to convince you otherwise." He said with a smirk.

"Shikamaru. Snap out of it! I'm NOT gonna screw you in the bathroom while Naruto and Hinata make out in the living room!" she shoved him.

"Sorry, alright? I'm not being really smart at the moment. You seriously need to put clothes."

"What?"

"The amount of clothes you're wearing is directly proportional to how smart I am. When you're naked, I'm around Naruto-level stupidity." She actually laughed at that.

"I seriously can't believe you still get a little retarded after five years. Holy cow, five years." She exclaimed in wonder. "We've been together this long?"

"Yeah. Weird, right? Didn't feel like it."

"If we lived together I could have half your money if we broke up."

"If our relationship was a kid it would already know how to read."

"It would be entering the Academy next year!"

"And since we're both really smart, it would be a little genius and skip grades, it could finish the Academy in, like, three years."

"Shikamaru… In four years our relationship will be a genin!"

"Who'd train it?"

"I don't know, someone whose marriage lasted?"

"Well, my parents' did."

"You parent's marriage would train our relationship. That is so…" she stopped herself. "Crazy. What the hell happened here?"

"No idea. Pretend it never happened. So, Naruto and Hinata? Screwed already?" she opened the door a bit, spied the living room and closed it again.

"Nope. Still dragging." He huffed, standing up and pulling the zipper of his jounin vest. Temari half glared at him. "I'm seriously not doing you right now, Shikamaru, it won't change if you get naked." He rolled his eyes at her.

"I'm giving you my shirt, stupid. Retard mode's been dragging for too long."

"Oh, great!" she pulled the towel away to reveal she was wearing a pair of black underwear. He opened his mouth in indignance.

"You're not naked!"

"I'm in my underwear, same thing!"

"No, Temari! It's most definitely NOT the same thing! I can think around Kiba-level when you're not completely naked."

"I thought you'd see the bra."

"I don't see any straps."

"It's strapless, duh." He stopped for a moment.

"Strapless." He said slowly. She slapped her forehead.

"Men are twisted creatures. Shirt, now." He pulled the shirt over his head, grumbling all the way, staying only in the mesh one underneath it. He threw it to her and she caught it midair, whistling jokingly. "Now the pants!" he scowled.

"I feel molested, or something." She laughed, putting on the shirt.

"Oh, come here, stupid." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his jaw. He hugged her back but kept the scowl. "Feeling smarter now?"

"Yeah… I think I feel my IQ points returning." She smiled, the corners of his mouth lifted too. "Five years, Tem? That's like, half a decade. People get married in less time."

"Yeah… And I'll tell you one thing, it might have been tough, infuriating and crazy, but if there's one thing it wasn't, was boring." He laughed.

"That it wasn't. Can you believe we'll tell this story someday? 'The day we got stuck in the bathroom while Naruto and Hinata', yeah, the Hokage and the Hyuuga head, 'made out on our couch'." She chuckled.

"How about the day we had a jealous fit and blew up the training grounds?"

"Or that day we got drunk as hell and took the couch to the roof of the Hokage tower."

"Or… That time we broke the kitchen table." She nudged his jaw with her nose.

"Uuuh, yeah, that one might be too improper to tell." They laughed together.

Suddenly a noise was heard from the living room. Fabric rustling, feet shuffling. They exchanged a glance. Could it be they were finally moving on to the guest room? The noise got louder and louder until, at last, a door slammed close by. They opened the bathroom slowly, carefully. No one on the couch. Guest room's door closed. They celebrated silently, hugging and throwing their arms up in victory. He signaled for her to follow him and they tiptoed to the bedroom. Finally she could put some clothes on, finally they could get out of that damn bathroom.

"Damn, look at the time." It was almost midnight.

"We really spent, like, an hour stuck in the bathroom? Damn it!"

"Well, what can we do about it? Let's just go to sleep."

"Yeah… How weird is it that Naruto and Hinata are getting it on in the next room?"

"Completely weird and I'd rather delete the information from my brain."

"Yeah…" they lied down on their bed. "You know what's funny? I thought the guest room's bed was the old one that…" she was interrupted by a loud creak, followed by a periodic nhec nhec. "And there it is." They groaned.

"Goodbye sleep." Shikamaru cursed.

"Hey, can you believe we are actually going to be witnesses to Naruto and Hinata's first time?" Temari cackled quietly. "We'll tell their children! They'll be mortified. Or, better yet, we'll hold it in and blurt it out twenty years in the future to threaten them as blackmail material when they are being bitchy to us. Yeah…" suddenly a loud moan cut through their conversation. "Did you hear that?" she asked amusedly.

"Well… Looks like he just unleashed the second tail." They burst out laughing, trying to muffle it on the pillows.

"Whatever you say, Naruto, do NOT say we cockblocked you."

The next few hours were unforgettable for both couples. For one, it was the magical beginning of the new phase in their relationship. For the other, it was a hilarious and only partly traumatic affair. At about two in the morning the creaking stopped and they could all fall asleep and put an end to that bizarre night. Which, of course, didn't mean that it wouldn't be an equally bizarre morning.

Hinata woke up with the sun in her face. She lifted her head from the smooth surface she was lying on. Turning back to look at it, she blushed to the roots of her hair. The happenings of the previous night rushed back to her and it was all she could do not to faint right back. But no, she couldn't do that. Not after their wonderful night. She sighed dreamily. It was everything she had ever dreamed of ever since she was a little girl. She suddenly felt the need to giggle. She got him. She giggled some more. He was still sleeping, she didn't want to wake him up, but she was feeling so giddy she might burst into a squeal. She had to leave the bedroom before he woke up. She'd make him breakfast! That was it! She slowly slided out of the bed, taking a moment to nearly pass out again at her lack of clothing. She looked around her to find her dress on top of a chair in the corner. It would be quite complicated to get in it again, it had a bunch of strings, and zippers… Naruto's shirt was right over there. She giggled more.

She left the bedroom, little squealing noises already escaping her lips, walking down the hallway into the living room. Now that she was seeing it in daylight, it looked familiar. She was sure she had been there before. She recognized the living room, but something was off. She found the kitchen. And what was off. They were both big, human-sized offs sitting by the table, sipping their mugs of coffee. They lifted their heads seeing her standing there.

"Oh, it's you. We were wondering when you'd wake up." Shikamaru said non-chalantly, reading a piece of a newspaper while Temari read the other piece.

"Call Naruto, we made breakfast." She said equally calmly, almost cheerfully.

"What… What are you…?" Hinata stuttered. Suddenly it came to her why the apartment looked familiar. It was Shikamaru's apartment. She'd been there with Temari once or twice. She had just… Just… Only a shirt… "Eep!" She squeaked, loud as a banshee, then promptly fainted.

"Well, that went fine." Temari said sarcastically.

"I take it she doesn't want breakfast?"

"Wha-, When? How? Whazz goin' on?" Naruto rushed in, tripping on his feet, sheet tangled around his ankles, wearing boxers and sex-hair. Temari saw that and laughed.

"Well, someone was on top tonight!" she said poking Hinata with her toe.

"What are… What the hell are you two doing here?" Naruto yelled once his brain finished loading.

"It's our house." They said simply.

"But you were supposed to be in Suna!" he spluttered.

"Yeah… About that… Sandstorm."

"So… So you guys didn't go? You… You were here?" they smiled awkwardly.

"Guilty." His whole face turned red.

"The whole time?" he squeaked.

"Yes. Mr. Kyuubi Jr." Temari said snickering. Shikamaru snorted, almost spitting his coffee. Naruto's face turned ghost white, and then he too, promptly fell over beside his girlfriend.

Shikamaru and Temari just sat there, staring at the passed out couple on their floor. One minute, two rolled by, and then she piped up.

"Hey, remember the day we were stuck in the bathroom because Naruto and Hinata were…." He burst out laughing. She smirked. "Yeah, it's going to be an awesome story to tell someday."


End file.
